burgerkid:

could you please hold this for a second *hands you my problems and runs away*

  • Me: Hello 911 , I need help
  • 911: what help ma'am
  • Me: can you nominate Zayn in that bucket challenge<p>
  • seabelle:

    I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch I saw your fucking mini van I know you have six more kids where are they

    i know but idk
    ― me when i know but idk (via bageutte)

    dolllarbills:

    *when a girl takes a nude and it gets leaked*

    everyone: omg she’s such a whore she shouldn’t be sending inappropriate pictures to random guys wow

    *when a guy takes a nude and it gets leaked*

    everyone: wow the girl who leaked it is unbelievable like he trusted her and she did that to him wow……….